Secretly Craving You Read online

  She tested the strength of the handcuffs. The cool metal bit into her skin, a sharp, electrifying contrast to his hot hands sliding down her arms.

  "I read that scene in the book where the pages were dog-eared. Hell, the spine of the book was broken you'd read that scene so many times. I know you fantasize about being handcuffed to a bed. Don't you?" He observed her with fascination. Normally, his steady gaze was piercing and unreadable, but now his eyes had darkened with deep arousal. Seeing how much he wanted her nearly took her breath away.

  What he said was true. In her fantasies, Nick was always the hard, edgy cop who handcuffed her to a bed—and a lot of other wicked things.

  What was he going to do to her next? Would he rip off her meager clothes? She could hope. He was already shirtless and barefoot, and she wished he would remove his jeans.

  "If you want loose and want me to leave, just say I hate you." He waited, not touching her. She liked the way he played, wanting to fulfill her fantasies but also make her feel secure and protected at the same time.

  Of course, she didn't hate him. Nor did she want him to leave her bedroom. Her body hummed with anticipation and yearning. Prickles of need swirled through her pussy. She'd love any part of him stroking against it, his fingers, his cock…

  "I also searched your lingerie drawer," he confessed. "I found your vibrator."

  Heat rushing over her, she squeezed her eyes shut, though she didn't know why it should bother her. So she owned a vibrator. So what? Most women did these days. Her marriage had crumbled more than two years ago, and she'd certainly not been ready to date or have random sex with strangers. But she was still a woman with sexual needs.

  "I don't like it," she said.

  "What?"

  "The vibrator. It's just a cold piece of plastic. Not a flesh-and-blood man with a hard, hot cock."

  He frowned, his jaw clenched hard as if her words made him ache. His silver eyes had turned smoky, his lashes lowered. "I'm going to untie your robe belt."

  Her heart rate skyrocketing, she remained silent, simply trying to breathe evenly. She had fantasized about this bad boy for the past three years. Her crotch was soaked, and her legs were trembling. Waves of heat and shivers passed over her skin because, dammit, now she had a crush on Nick. Actually, she'd had a crush on him longer than she cared to admit. He drew her on much more than a physical level. He stirred up her emotions even more intensely than he did her body.

  "What do you say?" he asked.

  She nodded. "Yes," she whispered, wanting her clothes off. And his. Her skin ached to have his hot naked body sliding along it. To feel those hard pecs, and his washboard abs pressed against her.

  He tugged at the belt and gently parted the robe. She wasn't wearing a nightgown. She'd only had time to yank on her panties when he'd knocked…as she was approaching orgasm. She hadn't wanted to stop, but the idea of seeing Nick during such an erotic moment had been too enticing to resist.

  "I was hoping to find you naked under here." Stroking his slightly roughened fingertips over her stomach, along her ribcage and beneath her bare breasts, he covered her body in tingles of anticipation.

  Touch me.

  She almost asked, her hard nipples aching to be squeezed and tormented by his fingers. With his teasing touch, intense chills covered her and she gasped. Her back arched off the bed before she could prevent it.

  "Nick?"

  "Hmm?" Using both hands, he hooked his fingers into her pink bikini panties, gently slid them down her thighs and tossed them aside. "Damn, you're wet," he murmured and blew out a breath.

  She glanced down at his jeans fly and the protrusion behind it. "And you're hard."

  His eyes met hers. "You got that right."

  So, bare that gorgeous cock and put it to use.

  Placing a knee on the bed beside her and bending forward, he placed gentle kisses between her breasts, inhaled deeply and moaned. His expression soulful and filled with need, he brushed his lips across one nipple, then pressed an adoring kiss to the tip.

  Wanting to sink her fingers into his hair and tug him closer, she yanked at the handcuffs, making them rattle. "Yes." She arched her back, pushing her breast more firmly against his mouth. His stubble stimulated her, taunted her.

  "Mmm." He flicked his tongue against her aching nipple.

  "Oh my god, Nick," she gasped. "Yes. Please."

  He drew in a hissing breath. His expression was scorching and infinitely aroused. "Tell me what you want."

  "Suck my nipples," she whispered, ashamed to ask, but at the same time desperate. "Please."

  "Damn, I love hearing you say that," he growled, then tugged one tip into his hot, wet mouth and nibbled on it as if he wanted to devour her.

  A shock went from her breast to her pussy. She cried out, writhing. Having Nick do these amazing, erotic things to her was beyond her comprehension. Especially after having fantasized about him for so long. Reality was far better than her dreams.

  "More," she requested.

  He lavished her other nipple with kisses and a delightful tonguing. This only made her more restless, more desperate to experience all of him.

  Moving down, he kissed a trail along her stomach, then flicked his tongue into her belly button. The scruffy stubble on his chin rasped her sensitive skin, slightly painful, but so electrically stimulating. She was afraid to think about where he was headed, lower and lower. Would he do what she hoped? Something her own ex-husband had never wanted to do to her?

  She held her breath, waiting.

  Nick brushed his lips against her pubic hair and gave a soft moan, his breath heating her mound. Oh, it took all her strength not to arch into him and beg him. When he sat back on his knees and urged her thighs apart, she spread them willingly. She couldn't help herself. No one had ever done this to her and she wondered what it would feel like. She also wondered why Nick wanted to. Was he truly as giving and caring as he seemed, despite being a rough-edged bad boy?

  His heated gaze locked on her exposed pussy. "Baby, you're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, then lowered his head, his breath whispering across her inner thigh.

  I can't watch. I can't watch.

  His thumbs spread her at the same time he stroked his searing, wet tongue up along her sensitive lips. She gasped, her back arching, and held herself open and ready for him. Her moisture trickled out with a slight tickling sensation and deep inside, she ached for him.

  "Nick." Her voice was almost a sob. She wanted him so bad she almost begged.

  He slid his finger into her, and her inner muscles clutched at it. With his tongue, he lapped at her sensitized clit. She couldn't have imagined how a tongue would feel stimulating her—hot, slick and gentle, but at the same time, firm and velvety-rough.

  "Nick, please." I don't want your finger. I want your cock. But she couldn't bring herself to say those words to him. She was moaning, or was it whining? Desperate for more, desperate for relief. Desperate to have his big cock driving into her hard, fast and deep. She'd never been this aroused in her life.

  "Yeah, baby, that's it." He withdrew his finger and stroked his tongue along her sensitive lips. "Damn, your pussy's sweet. I knew it would be." He slid his tongue into her, then went crazy flicking her clit.

  She squirmed, writhed. "Oh my god, Nick," she gasped at the overload of pleasure and erotic sensation.

  "Is that good?" he asked, his voice rough.

  "Yes," she hissed. "So good."

  "You're so damn hot," he growled, sliding two fingers in and drawing them out, his cock tenting his jeans. She needed it so badly she trembled.

  He stared into her eyes, his darkened by arousal…and emotion. She would give anything to know what he was feeling right now. Was he as deeply affected as she was?

  He dropped down and licked her clit again, sucked at it, while he continued sliding his fingers. She grew frenzied, her legs spread wide as they'd go.

  Holding onto the post she was handcuffed to, she waited while the tin
gling orgasm approached like a massive tidal wave, her whole body trembling, drawn tight. The overwhelming sensations smashed into her and she screamed. Scalding, violent pleasure consumed her. She shoved herself toward him, needing his weight on her, longing to have him crush her into the mattress as he ground his cock into her.

  The orgasm was so intense it bordered on pain. She almost blacked out and her ears buzzed. Wow…how great would it have felt if he'd been inside her?

  When the climax ebbed, she found she needed him still. Fingers were nowhere near as good as his cock would be, and that's what she craved.

  As she tried to catch her breath, he unlocked the handcuffs and removed them from her wrists.

  "Nick." She reached for him, but he stepped back. "I want you," she whispered, hoping he wouldn't make her beg.

  "Not like that." His pained expression surprised her. He left the room, closing the door behind.

  What did he mean? And where was he going? He was so obviously aroused.

  Was he insane? No way was she letting him do that and just walk out.

  She pulled on her robe and jogged down the stairs to the living room, then to the bedroom where he was staying. The room was empty, but the door to the bathroom was closed. He was again going to masturbate in the shower, as he had last night, wasn't he?

  No, she wasn't letting him do that alone again.

  She pressed her ear to the door and heard the shower running. Since the lock was broken, she silently pushed the door open. Nick stood in the shower, his head hung beneath the spray that drenched his hair and turned it darker. He flung his hair back and let the spray hit his face. Grasping his erection in one hand, he slowly stroked.

  After slipping off her robe, she opened the glass shower door.

  Startled, he faced her with a scowl. "What the hell are you doing in here? I locked the door."

  She shook her head and let her gaze travel down his wet, sculpted body. "Lock's broken."

  His jaw clenched tight and his glare remained in place.

  "Why do you always leave me?" she asked. "Why won't you—"

  "I can't," he growled. "Don't you understand?" His dark, tormented tone surprised her.

  She searched his troubled gaze. "No. Why can't you?"

  He let out a harsh breath. "I just can't."

  "Please tell me why."

  "Because of Jared," he finally said. "He was my only brother, and I can't betray his memory. He wouldn't want me to touch you."

  She was startled speechless for a moment. "What? Who cares what Jared would want? We were divorced. And now he's gone. Besides, he never cared about me. You know that. He cheated on me with other women."

  "Hell," Nick rasped, glancing away.

  Naked, she stepped into the steamy shower and closed the door, almost overwhelmed by the intense emotion she witnessed on Nick's face. His honor and loyalty to his brother long after it was warranted touched her. Nick truly was a good man.

  And though this might not lead to the relationship she was ashamed to admit she desperately yearned for with him, she wanted to show him how she felt, how much he meant to her. How much she craved him, in a way that went far beyond the physical. Though their connection had begun as a scorching attraction, that had only been a façade for what was rapidly growing inside her heart. Her crush was turning into something far deeper and more profound than she could've imagined.

  But right now, she could think of nothing but tasting every inch of him and giving him intense pleasure. Stepping under the spray of the shower, she moved closer to his gorgeous, water-drenched body.

  She slid her hand up his chest and around his neck into his dripping hair to draw his head down. His lips captured hers in a deep, fiery kiss that made her feel incredibly close and connected to him, but also lightheaded, her pulse speeding along. His scruffy beard shadow rasped against her chin.

  His hands, caressing her ass, drew her tight against his substantial erection. She tingled inside with a powerful need for him. But first, she had to know how he would feel in her mouth, how he would taste. She pulled back, breaking the kiss, and knelt before him in the warm shower spray, ready and willing to worship his body just as he had hers.

  "What are you doing?" he demanded in a low, rough tone. His frown might have intimidated some people, but she knew it meant he was powerfully affected.

  "What I've wanted to do for a long time," she confessed. Gazing up at him through the steam from this angle, with his impressively jutting cock, his muscled body and his dark eyes, arousal flooded her.

  "Emily, don't," he growled.

  "Yes, I want to." She captured his granite cock in her hand where it stood upward. Wow, was he big. She had very little experience with oral sex, but she hungered for the masculine taste and hard length of Nick in her mouth. Holding his thick wet shaft, she licked the head. It was feverish and velvety, the solid feel of him incredible. Her pussy tingled.

  Nick muttered a curse, his water-beaded abs jerked and his cock pulsated. His musky scent amplified her need. Drawing him inside her mouth, she swirled her tongue around the head, the tip of her tongue stroking behind the flared ridge. He tasted perfect, like clean virile male.

  "Mmm, I want to eat you up," she murmured over the sound of streaming water, then took him to the back of her throat.

  He clenched his jaw, groaning and gazing down at her in dark fascination. He brushed the wet hair back from her face and watched her.

  With her hand, she stroked and squeezed his cock, and then sucked harder, devouring the head as she'd been longing to do. Her technique was probably not so great, but she didn't care. She wanted to taste him, lick every inch of him. In her other hand, she cradled his balls, drawn up tight against the base of his shaft.

  "Emily." He groaned, a tremor passing through him. "Baby, that feels so damn good," he breathed.

  "Mmm." Yes, he felt amazing to her. And the taste of his precum, salty and masculine, was so erotic she wanted more. She wanted to taste his cum—something she had never truly wanted from a man before, but now she found herself ravenous for him. She sucked with more pressure and gripped him tighter, her hand sliding up and down his smooth, wet shaft.

  Moments later, he muttered a string of guttural curses she could barely understand. "I'm going to come."

  Looking up into his eyes, almost closed in passion, water dripping down his face, she nodded. Yes, she wanted to make him come. This had been her fantasy for far too long. She wanted to experience everything about Nick…in real life, not just her wild imagination. And so far, real life had blown her fantasies out of the water.

  "Em, if you don't move back, I'll come in your mouth," he warned, his teeth clenched, his muscles tight and flexed.

  Withdrawing his cock, she flicked her tongue against the tip, teasing that little slit. "I want you to."

  Pulling his cock deep into her mouth again, she sucked harder, stroked his shaft faster.

  He released a loud groan combined with a shout and hot semen spewed into her mouth and spilled onto her breasts. She loved the taste of him, so erotic and delicious. His body quaked and shivered with the waning explosion of pleasure.

  Taking her arms, he urged her upward and held her tight as he leaned against the granite tiled wall, breathing hard. "God, Em. I've never…" His heartbeat thumped against her ear.

  Pulling back a couple of inches, she looked up into his heavy-lidded eyes, hoping she'd given him half the pleasure he'd given her earlier. "Never what?" she asked when he didn't finish his sentence. How she loved leaving him at a loss for words.

  "Never came that hard before." The look he gave her was one she'd never seen from him—astonished, perhaps even awed. Had she been that good? And he was trying to hide a smile, which finally crept out. Had she made him happy? She hoped so. He held her tightly while she kissed his chest.

  "I never expected something like that from innocent little Emily," he murmured in her ear.

  "I'm not so innocent."

  He pulled back
, grinning, and grabbed the soap. "I noticed. Naughty little Emily fits you better." He lathered his hands, then washed her chin, neck, shoulders and breasts. He kept his attention on his task.

  She didn't know what she expected from him afterward, but she needed an emotional intimacy she would probably never have. Instead, she forced herself to focus on their sexual connection—that was one thing she knew existed between them. And they still hadn't had actual sex yet. So far, all had been foreplay. Intensely pleasurable foreplay, but what would the real deal be like?

  For a few minutes while he bathed her, head to toe, his cock was relaxed, but still large. Then she noticed it starting to grow firmer and jut out. Especially when he used his hand to wash between her legs. His wet, soapy fingers slid gently along her sex lips, making her want to grind against his hand.

  "Mmm." He bent her leg and dragged it up to his hip, spreading her.

  He leaned down and kissed her, then flicked his tongue against her lips. She teased it with her own tongue until he growled and sank his tongue possessively into her mouth. She almost drowned in the deep, thorough kiss.

  Arousal bloomed throughout her body and she tingled where his fingers lightly traced and parted her tender sex lips, tempting her.

  Jaw clenched hard, he groaned, removed his hand and lowered her leg.

  No, don't stop, she wanted to tell him.

  "Damn, you're amazing," he said.

  Warmth spread through her at his words, and the affectionate look in his eyes. "No, you are." She kissed his chest, his neck and stroked her hand along his erection, which was growing harder by the minute.

  With that hooded gaze, he observed her as if somehow she fascinated him. "I knew you were watching."

  "What?" she asked. Oh no! Did he mean when she'd spied on him in the shower a couple of nights ago?

  A little grin slipped out, making him look incredibly mischievous. "Three years ago, after your wedding. You watched Cassie and me in that hotel suite."